Dum Dum Girls, “Jail La La” Yesterday...
You so skinny! Arms like sticks!
For the 207th time that day, Audrey plunged a pita chip into a Dixie cup of Stonemill Kitchens® Spinach & Artichoke Parmesan Dip, which had congealed into a mass punctuated by bits of wilted greens. As soon as she placed the cup onto a plastic tray, a hand descended upon it like a claw machine preparing to scoop up its oily prize with precision. “Very...
SHE’S DEFINITELY NOT A VIRGIN
Whenever I see a pregnant lady, I just feel this twinge of discomfort for her. Why? Because her big belly is like this flashing neon sign that shrieks, “I had sex! I had sex! Did I mention that I had sex?” Well-adjusted people probably feel joyous upon beholding her rotundness, as they marvel at the wondrous beauty of motherhood, the circle of life, blah blah blah....