Why I have lice
Last Monday, I found out that I had lice. Since my head had been unbearably itchy over the weekend, I had my creeping suspicions that there were critters up there. Inspecting my head under a bright light, the school nurse confirmed my worst nightmare: “Oh yeah. I see quite a few lice eggs in your hair.” I started screaming uncontrollably, “Oh my god, oh my god,” absolutely...
In which I hack my mom's e-mail account
This semester, I woke up every morning stupidly excited for a simple thing: my mug of Trader Joe’s instant coffee, sweetened by one packet of Splenda, which I pilfered by the handful from Subway. On February 28, 2011, upon opening my cupboard, I noticed that my pile of Splendas was MIA, prompting me to WTF and furiously search the other cabinets for the whereabouts of my stash. It took about...