I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS

Study break gchats

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 21:37:30 -0500

Annie: i got home at 3am from the date and slept with my neighbor
Annie: :(
Annie: partially because i got locked out of my apartment

So I went on a really great OkCupid date on Saturday night and stumbled back home full of picklebacks and beer. When I tried to open my door, the door’s broken card-reader rejected my key again and again. Spotting my neighbor down the hall, I asked him if I could sleep on his couch. He was like, yeah, sure. (I have all of my classes with him; we are friends.) Then I watched TV with him and his roommate, somehow ending up in the roommate’s bed a short while later.

After the roommate finished, he said, “I’m glad you got locked out.” It worked out: he got laid, and I got a bed. As he lives down my hall, I’m dreading the fact that we’ll be forced to acknowledge each other’s presences for the rest of the year in this dumb dorm. It was really nice never having to greet him before since we didn’t know each other — I only admired him from afar.

glassowhine: “We’ll be Those Girls With the Tortoiseshell...

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 21:03:42 -0500

glassowhine:

“We’ll be Those Girls With the Tortoiseshell Glasses!”

Meet Frankie.

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 22:12:00 -0400

Meet Frankie.

potalianboy: Khia & Britney Spears Oops!…I Licked It Again

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 20:21:00 -0400

potalianboy:

Khia & Britney Spears

Oops!…I Licked It Again

Eyelids are to Asians what hair is to African-Americans. By which I mean, eyelids are a big fucking...

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 16:45:00 -0400

Eyelids are to Asians what hair is to African-Americans. By which I mean, eyelids are a big fucking deal, beauty-wise, and are also wrought with cultural significance. The whole fuss of epicanthic folds versus double-folds aside, what really drives my sister and me insane is the fact that the size of our droopers varies from day to day, depending on such factors as lack of sleep, crying jags, drinking, and seeming randomosity.

Yesterday, in agony over the asymmetry of her eyelids, my sister texted me the following:

The poor girl was having what I like to call a “bad eyelid day.” It’s not just like, “Ugh, my eyelids look a little off.” No. To us, it’s the difference between having a spring in your step and not wanting to leave the house. If you’re still trying to understand the horror of having such a vital part of your appearance be so inconsistent, imagine this: when you wake up every morning, you have no idea what your nose will look like. Wouldn’t that suck? While asymmetry is a big offender, another example of what could happen on a “bad eyelid day” is that your eyelids shrink to a third of their normal size. This seems to happen whenever I travel, for some reason. I always have bad eyelids when I travel. :(

Okay, so my sister texted our mother about her problem. Aimy and Mother discuss:

Okay, first of all, my mother’s advice to call a doctor is absurd. My doctor is an old white man who has probably never thought about the state of his eyelids before, except maybe when he noticed that they’d started sagging. Secondly, it warms my heart that generations of women in my family have been struggling with the heartache of volatile eyelids - it’s like the thread that connects us! - such that they came up with crafty ways to fix the predicament as teenagers. Desperate for a solution, my sister followed the tip:

I’m sorry, I know I sound like an uneducated 12-year-old when I text. It’s only when I text with my sister because I don’t care if she respects me.

Anyway, I just wanted to take this as an opportunity to enlighten the public about eyelid problems. Feel thankful if your eyelids are always the same!

glassowhine: I lit’rally LOLed.

Tue, 18 Sep 2012 10:05:03 -0400

glassowhine:

I lit’rally LOLed.

Last night, Katie accurately pointed out that the guy who lives down the hall from me looks like the...

Sat, 15 Sep 2012 10:14:00 -0400

Last night, Katie accurately pointed out that the guy who lives down the hall from me looks like the CGI-faced monkey that was just discovered. “HE LOOKS LIKE THE NEW MONKEY!”

Here’s my favorite comment from the CNN article:

Law students are way more fun and interesting than people give them credit for: Ahem. Imagine my...

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:02:00 -0400

Law students are way more fun and interesting than people give them credit for:

Ahem. Imagine my horror when I noticed several months ago that the Facebook group for the entering class at my law school was filled with such discussions. Even seemingly lightweight threads - such as what movies people liked - were hijacked by over-intellectualizing snots:

No way, I love Zal Batmanglij too! He’s definitely up and coming. The best were comments like this:

Hmmm, I’m really sorry, but I think you’ll have a hard time finding people in one of the country’s largest cities who enjoy cycling. It’s a pretty esoteric pastime. Anyway, I was showing Louisa this hot mess over the summer, which led to us brainstorming our own contributions (“Does anyone know where to get a quickie abortion in DC?”). Thus, Louisa wrote the following on my behalf:

At the time, I panicked that I would be “disbarred” (no, this isn’t the correct word, but I kept repeating it to Louisa) from being a lawyer due to discussing illegal drugs on a public forum. But I think I’m okay for now. Plus, I don’t even know if I want to be a lawyer anymore, or as I recently told Marie, I just want to be a “corporate PR bitch who happens to have a law degree.” Maybe I’m just panicking — the Group Fear mentality that pervades 1L student bodies is overwhelming. A conversation from yesterday:

Girl at BBQ: “I’m studying for the LSAT.”

Me: “No, don’t go to law school! It’s so hard!”

Niall: “Annie. You haven’t even started your 1L classes yet.”

From time to time, I accidentally say unpleasant things about my dad in public, such as “I...

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 20:27:11 -0400

From time to time, I accidentally say unpleasant things about my dad in public, such as “I hate my dad” or “I’d rather die than have my dad walk me down the aisle; I will have a gay friend do it.” Those around me usually look horrified, reminding me too late that most people feel warmly toward their family patriarchs.

Maybe I should just print out a copy of this e-mail and carry it around in my wallet, so they’ll “get” it. I am not an ungrateful brat. I am just a sane person. By the way, he sent this to me while I was still staying at home in August, as in the same edifice as him.

Thought Catalog published an article in May called “Don’t Judge Me Because I’m Not Close With My Family,” and it totally spoke to me. People who are close with their families can be so smug! In their defense, I guess it’s hard for them to perceive a world any other way.

Me: “A lot of the guys at my school look like they have rosacea. They are all blonde with red...

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 22:47:00 -0400

Me: “A lot of the guys at my school look like they have rosacea. They are all blonde with red faces.”

Niall: “Oh my god, did you know that they just discovered the cause of rosacea? It comes from when little mites on your face explode, and bacteria comes out of their anuses.”

Today at a Labor Day BBQ, I was talking to a plaid-wearing boy with a nose ring, which makes him a...

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 20:20:00 -0400

Today at a Labor Day BBQ, I was talking to a plaid-wearing boy with a nose ring, which makes him a raging hipster by DC standards. When I asked him if he wanted to live in DC for awhile, he said that his ultimate plan was to settle down in Austria or Germany. Seeing as he had majored in Philosophy, I was like, “Oh, ha-ha, is that because a lot of great philosophers are German?” He acknowledged that this was part of his reasoning, but that the main draw was that his girlfriend - whom he met a month ago during a philosophy conference in Austria - is Austrian.

Sometimes I get fleeting moments of sadness where I’m like, “Oh my god, everyone’s lives are so exciting and passion-filled, whereas I am going to be a cat lady.” Alicia and I call them my “Bye and Bye” moments because I once had a particularly bad episode of this doomsday feeling at a bar in Portland, Oregon called, yes, the Bye and Bye.

Anyway, I was later telling Niall about how this boy had unknowingly provoked a Bye-and-Bye moment. He had fallen hard for someone and, within weeks, changed his life plans to the extent that he hoped to permanently move to Europe. I said, “How can that happen in a month? I am the same exact person I was one month ago.” Niall responded, “Yeah, a month ago, you were, like, at Target with your parents.”

I guess a lot can happen in a month. It’s like when you see a month-old puppy that’s walking and barking, and you think in bewilderment, “A month ago, you did not exist in this physical form.”

This is what Jarrett saw during his lunch break last week: A woman was tying her dog’s leash...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 00:52:25 -0400

This is what Jarrett saw during his lunch break last week:

A woman was tying her dog’s leash to a pole outside of Sweetgreen, this health-oriented frozen yogurt/salad eatery in DC. Some guy asked her in a shocked tone, “You’re just going to leave your dog there?” She was like, “Uh, yeah,” and started walking away. The guy proceeded to go into Sweetgreen and re-emerged onto the sidewalk holding a cup of water which he was about to give to the dog. The dog owner came rushing out at him, slapped the cup out of his hand, and screamed, “Don’t you dare give water to my dog!”

Relatedly:

“I am really, really sorry for what you’re going through.”

Hi, I’m Annie. Remember me? I’m returning to this...

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 18:20:00 -0400

Hi, I’m Annie. Remember me? I’m returning to this Tumblr after a long respite during my year in Spain. An update: I’m now 23, go to law school in Washington DC, and receive unnerving text messages from one-night stands.

I can’t get over this video of Stellan Skarsgård cooking...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 06:35:00 -0500

I can’t get over this video of Stellan Skarsgård cooking dinner for his family. There is so much goodness: Alex quietly doing homework in the background and setting the table, Stellan smelling the rustic mushrooms, Rolling Stones playing in the background. And as one commenter noted, look at Stellan Skarsgård’s butt in 80’s jeans. Just look. This sequence feels incredibly intimate and real in a way that “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” is not. What a fantastic father and husband that Stellan is— his wife should turn that frown upside-down.

I think I spent an hour watching various Skarsgård-related videos. Bill Skarsgård looks like Ashley Olsen, albeit a handsome male version. I would like to see more of him.

Stuff White People Like:

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:13:31 -0500

Facebook profile photos in which they are the sole white person, surrounded by dark-skinned orphans (ethnicity variable) whom they have volunteered to help.

I have my period again which means that I have been in Spain for a month. I am pretty regular,...

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:17:52 -0400

I have my period again which means that I have been in Spain for a month. I am pretty regular, FYI.

The day before I flew out, I went to get self-serve frozen yogurt with my sister. Oh god, I miss self-serve frozen yogurt. I was wearing the same gauzy brown dress that I am wearing at this very instant, in fact. There were no seats available, so we perched ourselves on a roomy windowsill to eat our lychee-flavored froyo or whatever it was. I felt like my tampon needed a change, but I was enjoying my final American yogurt too much to be bothered. When I stood up to throw away my empty cup, I noticed that I had left a maroon splotch on the (crisp white) windowsill. How can I still mishandle my period when I’ve had it for half my life?! I had defaced the store with my blood puddle. Fortunately, it was a Saturday night, so the employees were distracted by customers. I quickly sopped it up with some napkins and ran to the bathroom where I cleansed both myself and my gauzy brown dress. When I was walking back to where my sister was sitting, a girl stopped me and said, “You left—”

I waited on tenterhooks for her to finish, “— a dirty period stain on the windowsill, you nasty freak!”

But instead, she said, “—your iPhone in the bathroom.” Oh.

My sister: “How did she manage to bake ONE cupcake in ‘Bridesmaids’? Did she use...

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 08:59:53 -0400

My sister: “How did she manage to bake ONE cupcake in ‘Bridesmaids’? Did she use egg substitute?”

Photo

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 04:18:08 -0400

This ole blog ended up getting too personal for mass consumption, so I started a new chaste one over...

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 20:55:00 -0400

This ole blog ended up getting too personal for mass consumption, so I started a new chaste one over here for my Spanish travels. However, if I have to write anything slanderous, juicy, or mad bitchy, you can bet your bottom peso that I’ll be over here typing away.

Photo

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 20:28:18 -0400